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Crotch Rocket says:
August 10, 2011 at 4:38 pm
“there’s a difference between having tried swinging or BDSM or whatever a few times and being someone who self-describes as living the ‘lifestyle.’ It’s a distinction that’s made within those communities themselves from what I can see.” Yep; there is a definite distinction between those who dabble and those who make it a central feature of their life, as with most other things. However, it should be noted that the former group is usually an order of magnitude or two larger than the latter and, when it comes to sex, usually rather close-mouthed about it.

“if a woman wanted to be doing those things, she’d be doing those things.” One doesn’t have to be a member of a subculture–or even aware that it exists–to do the things associated with it. For instance, one survey found that ~24% of Americans dabble in BDSM at home to some degree–usually by talking a confused vanilla mate into trying it. Whips and chains aren’t for everyone, but a surprising number of Americans enjoy being spanked, blindfolded, tied up, ordered around, etc. by someone they trust. I’ve certainly run into more of that than I would have ever expected. That doesn’t mean they’re all going to run out and join a club or out themselves to friends and family, though.


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